Variables
by onemakaveli96
Summary: One visit. That is what Addison has told herself. Life, however, hardly runs on a plan, so when change shifts into the fourth gear a choice to look back may not seem so bad after all. AU 4x13 "Piece of My Heart." Addison/Alex. Complete.
1. Change

**Title:** Variables  
**Chapter:** Change (1/4)  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing:** Addison/Alex  
**Summary: **One visit. That is what Addison has told herself. Life, however, hardly runs on a plan, so when change goes into the fourth gear a choice to look back may not seem so bad after all.  
**Note:** AU version of 4x13 "Piece of My Heart." This may not heavily be Addison/Alex, but it's more than hinted at, especially in the last chapter. Please Review, much love to those who read my fics, and I hope you **Enjoy.**

* * *

Everything was normal, nothing had changed.

Meredith and Derek were still Meredith and Derek.

The Chief was still trying to keep her at Seattle Grace Hospital.

Mark Sloan was still a horn dog.

The interns were still complaining.

The new residents (also known as the old interns) were as competitive as ever.

And Alex Karev also appeared the same. A bit cocky, and still stiff with the affections.

He had stuck with neo-natal, even told her he would not let anyone but her in on his case.

Then Rebecca Pope showed up, and even then Addison had not been very surprised.

She moved out of Alex's way after the stiff hug--another thing that had not changed (her being another's obstacle).

That afternoon, more or less, she just observed the hospital that was witness to her breakdowns.

She had been a part of Seattle Grace Hospital for no more than a year, but that small period there saw more whirlwinds occur to her than any other time period in her life.

She was not able to salvage her marriage, could not keep Mark in line, could not keep Alex, and ultimately would not keep her job there.

Of course, neither could she define her life according to the men that had been a part of it. Her resolve to believe that was what kept her demeanor stoic on her visit.

But soon she learned that perhaps things were different.

As it turned out, Meredith and Derek were not a McCouple anymore.

That Callie, a person she would dare to call her best friend, was now divorced.

Miranda's marriage was now on the brink, as the woman herself seemed to be.

And Alex was different too. Somehow, something had changed since her departure. She could only guess that it had something to do with Rebecca (perhaps Ava was a more appropriate name, as that is what Alex called her consistently). Because, according to a theory or two, when a man akin to Alex Karev finds a woman he wants to commit to, he is bound to change.

However, from life experience, Addison knew that it takes more than a want for commitment, it takes more than one person's presence to change another person.

Change comes when an explosive combustion rides through your veins, makes your synapses fire, jolts your brain, and affects your heart indefinitely.

Perhaps love is capable of that, but rarely had Addison heard of, let alone witnessed, a love of that sort.

She knew there was more to Alex's change than met the eye, and it was evident during his outburst at the patient's husband who kept ignoring the possible defects of his unborn child.

Never had Addison seen Alex react to a patient in that manner. He wasn't just rude and condescending--he was outwardly frustrated and irritated. His preoccupation for the baby's health showed clearly on his face, and the worrisome tone infiltrated his voice.

Dr. Bailey had not hesitated to tell him that he was practically wearing his heart on his sleeve. Bailey actually advised him to take a small break to gather himself, so he went off.

And soon thereafter, Addison trailed behind him.

She had expected him to go to the NICU unit, as he had been prone to when she was a permanent attending there.

Apparently that had changed as well, because instead she found that his trail led to a supply closet.

Once there, she knocked because she did not want to be too intrusive. Three slow knocks, but he did not answer, so she took it as an invitation.

She opened the door slowly, just poked her head in.

"Is it safe to come in?" Addison asked tentatively.

He was pacing in the small space when she poked her head in. One of his hands was on his hip, and the other rubbed against his face. When she spoke, he stopped to turn on his heel, and took his hand off of his face.

"Hey," he answered slowly.

She smiled, returned the 'hey' and closed the door behind her.

"Having a rough day?" she leaned against the door as she asked him.

He shrugged nonchalantly and averted his eyes from her.

His answer was expected to be that vague, and in return she was expected to give him a tight smile--as she did.

"How's your day going, Dr. Montgomery?" he decided small talk to be the best path.

"Good, good," she nodded and when the room remained silent after her answer, she laughed and he chuckled.

"So," she widened her eyes and raised an eyebrow at him. She stood upright and took a few steps towards him.

"Is there a reasonable explanation for that little outburst, Karev?"

His mouth parted, and he shifted his eyes.

Quickly, Addison drew her hand up and added, "You don't have to tell me, just be aware of it and leave it outside of the hospital."

She barely finished her sentence when he burst out.

"Ava's pregnant."

"I know it's none of my bus--" when his words clicked in her brain she stopped talking and dropped her hand.

She looked at him in surprise and her mouth was left agape. Quickly, she closed her mouth and cleared her throat.

"That's why she showed up today."

"Oh," Addison worded.

"Well," she clasped her hands together, " does she have a plan? I mean, is she still with her husband, is this child--"

"It's mine," he clarified for her," and yeah, she's still with her husband." He shrugged and began pacing the room again.

Addison took a deep intake of breath and gathered her thoughts, pondering what to say next.

"If she came to you, Alex, you know its because she's expecting something from you--or am I wrong?"

"Of course she expects something," he said loudly with a tone of anger," but she shouldn't--"

She heard him inhale deeply, and then he stopped in his steps to turn to Addison, but darted his eyes away as soon as they met hers.

Finally, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes momentarily.

"She's still married. She should stay with him--I can't be _that_ guy with a wife and kids."

Slowly, Addison walked up to be in front of him.

"_That guy_?" she questioned him while trying to catch his gaze.

"Yeah, that guy that does barbeques for family and friends. That guy that plays catch with his kids," he said this almost in a mocking tone.

Addison furrowed her brows and crossed her arms over her chest at his words.

"What?" he said when he saw her confused gaze.

"Nothing, I just--have you been talking to Callie?"

He smirked when he realized why she asked that.

"Ava kinda heard you and Callie talking a while back about me being the decent guy or whatever."

Her mouth formed an 'oh' but it also drew more questions to mind.

"That was the same day we…" she gesticulated her arms and laughed nervously.

"Yeah," he scoffed.

"And it was also the day you dismissed my invitation so…rudely…" she put the pieces together.

"Uh, yeah."

"Well," she exhaled and clicked her tongue. She looked up at him and smiled mischievously, and in one quick movement, slapped him upside the head.

"Hey!" he grumbled and rubbed the back of his head.

"What was that for?!"

And she slapped him again.

"Hey!"

"The first one," she began with a pointed finger at him, "was for being an idiot. The second for not realizing that you're an idiot, and the third--"

"Third?" he flinched and moved his head away.

She raised her hand to him but he stopped her arm.

"I got it," he smirked.

She cocked an eyebrow.

"You get that you're being an idiot?"

When he only looked at her like a deer caught in headlines she went on.

"You are a decent guy Karev, but you appear to be the only who doesn't see that."

"Dr. Montgomery…" he sighed.

"No," she cut him off, "You're a decent guy. You know better. Are you really willing to leave your own baby in the hands of someone else, Karev, without actually attempting to be there? Or are you going to quit before trying?"

He rubbed his face with the palm of his hand and stood silently for a moment. He let his head fall against the wall, shifted his feet, until he brought his eyes to hers.

"I'm not quitting," he said defiantly.

"Then what _are_ you doing?"

"I don't know. I just know I'm not ready."

"It's called trying, Karev. You cannot say you are not ready, when you aren't even there."

"Yeah, well thanks, but weren't you the one who said it takes more than a well-meaning speech to change someone's mind?"

She rolled her eyes--"Touche."

"But hey," he reached out and touched her hand, giving it a small squeeze," thanks."

Feeling his thumb run over her knuckles all for a second, she felt her heart take a pause, but she breathed, "yeah."

"Most people would just scream and run off, but--it's cool that you're not being resentful after everything, you know?"

And he dropped his hand from hers, suddenly making her heart drop.

"What can I say? L.A. has done wonders for me," she smiled to the best of her ability.

"Looks like it has," he smiled back.

Their gazes stayed lock for several seconds until he said, "I should get back."

"Oh, of course," she nodded firmly and he gave her a small smile before he walked to the door.

He turned the knob, but before opening the door, turned his head to her one last time.

"You know, not that the new hair color isn't hot, but it isn't exactly Satan's color of choice."

She laughed and responded," Yes, well thank you for that putting that out there. I'll keep that in mind next time."

"Alright," he grinned.

"Alright."

And even moments after he walked out of the room, she was left smiling.

Then she shook her head, took a step to the wall and banged her head against it.

She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and remained quiet for a second or two.

Then she stood up, exhaled, pressed on her clothes, and cracked her neck.

"Alright," she said to herself," alright."

With a confident nod, she strode to the door, and walked back into the hallways of Seattle Grace Hospital with a proud and confident smile.


	2. Go

**Title:** Variables  
**Chapter:** Go (2/4)  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing:** Addison/Alex  
**Summary: **One visit. That is what Addison has told herself. Life, however, hardly runs on a plan, so when change goes into the fourth gear a choice to look back may not seem so bad after all.  
**Note: **AU version 4x13 "Piece of My Heart." Thanks for the lovely reviews, and so here's your update. Oh, and concerning the ending of this chapter, remember there's still two parts left to go. Read, Review, **Enjoy.f**

* * *

He knew she was coming, but he still had to do a double-take when he saw her standing outside that elevator.

She looked exactly as she had before--well, there were the obvious and subtle differences. Her hair wasn't that fiery red anymore, but more than that she looked…refreshed. In addition, she had hugged him which he found odd and awkward.

But there was not supposed to be a reason for him to dwell on that or on why it was awkward, or on Addison in general. That was an old, torn at the seams, story by now. Irrelevant, really, especially considering the fact that Ava was pregnant.

He knew he was a jerk when Ava told him, and he ran, pretending there was some patient or another that needed him ASAP. Because he was sure he couldn't handle this 'I'm pregnant, you're the dad, we have to figure this out so we can all have our happily ever after' thing right then, or now.

He's a mess that was forced to grow up too quickly, so all the lessons that came in between childhood and adulthood were lost. Now he doesn't have lessons to guide him--he sees the right and the left, but the middle of the road has always been somewhat incomprehensible to him.

Concerning this kid, he's sure it deserves anything but him. 'Stay with the husband' runs through his mind, and inadvertentlyf he spit out the abortion idea. Immediately the words crashed on him, and he knew Ava was as repulsed by the idea as he was by the look on her face. However, no kid should grow up with a boy figuring out how to be a man as his or her parent. Technically, Alex felt like he was looking out for the kid's well-being, and isn't that what every parent should do?

Think up worst-case scenarios and do whatever possible to avoid those scenarios, but prepare for them just in case?

Which is probably why those hippie parents drove him up the wall. He let his emotions get a hold of him, and he had an outburst. Bailey had good reason to reprimand him, and even Addison looked surprised at how strongly he reacted towards the father.

Dr. Montgomery knew he didn't have the best bedside manner from previous experiences, so her surprise towards this particular outburst only further proved that he was getting emotionally involved.

He stalked off and considered the NICU unit, but being near babies probably was not the best idea at that moment. Babies only reminded him of his dilemma, and maybe some inherent guilt.

Instead, he headed to a supply closet, to cool and calm his nerves down. There, he only paced, but not too long after he barricaded himself in there, someone came knocking.

The knock indicated that the person came looking for him in particular. Thus he did not answer the knock, hoping that maybe that would send the message to leave alone--on the other hand, not answering might warrant an invitation, and perhaps speaking to someone might not be such a bad idea.

When the door clicked open, he knew the person had taken the latter route. When said person spoke, a part of him sighed in relief internally that it was her that came after him.

"Is it safe to come in?" she said nonchalantly, to which he only responded with a _hey._

For him, it was placating and gratifying to see how she kept her head on straight as she came in and began talking to him. She always did know how to read people's emotions, could tell when they were upset, surprised, happy, or angry. But confronting any one of those feelings (or a combination of any sort of feelings) had always been more of a last resort thing with her. Almost as if she did her best to go by the saying 'don't push the matter.'

They sorted through several subjects quickly enough--his outburst, Ava being pregnant with his child, Ava still being married, Alex not wanting the baby, Alex believing he was not a decent guy. Which led to him admitting that he knew about Addison wanting a husband who did BBQs, played catch with the kids, and the whole nine yards.

Before he knew it, she confronted him with a slap upside the head.

Even that, however, was done with this ease that made him nostalgic on those days they used to work together. He almost forgot how fluid they could be, both in the work area and the talking life area. The talk, the banter, the laughing. Almost like those days before their kiss culminated to having sex in that on-call room.

That's why he stopped at the door to comment on her hair. Nostalgia possessed him, and he couldn't help but remind her that she was the ruler of all that was evil no matter the situation. And by the glint in her eye, he knew she was reminded that he was the Evil Spawn.

"Alright," he grinned at her.

"Alright," she repeated and he left.

He let the door close behind him and he paused right outside the door for a moment before going on his way.

He turned sideways and eyed the door for a second. He smirked to himself, stuck his hands in his lab coat, and finally walked away.

--

"You okay, Karev?"

After the surgery, and after speaking with the new parents, together Addison and Alex headed to the NICU unit to check on the newborn.

Addison had seen Alex slightly tear up during the surgery, but she knew better than to directly mention that fact.

"Yeah," he answered after a moment," I am"

He smiled tightly and rested his hands on his hips.

"Good," she smiled and stood beside him in front of the incubator with the baby they had just saved.

"If it weren't for us, this kid wouldn't have made it."

"Wow--very modest, Karev," she chuckled at him.

Alex joined her in her small laugh, and Addison added--

"Then are you saying you couldn't have done this on your own?"

He shrugged and frowned, saying as casually as possible--

"Nah, well--at least not for now. I mean, I will be able to someday, but I guess for the time being the country's foremost neo-natalist surgeon can help me out."

"Does that mean you're sticking to the field?" she turned her body to him to meet his eyes.

He turned as well, but only grinned in response to her question.

"I'm not a mind reader, Karev," she said under his gaze.

He half laughed, half scoffed at her statement because she sure seemed capable of that. He could only estimate that was a reason he tried to stay from her. _Tried_.

"What?" she chuckled in that tone that projected both her curiosity and anxiety.

"Nothing," he shrugged but then ventured to ask," you catching the plane tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow morning, and am leaving this hospital in…"

She twisted her head to look at the clock overhead on a wall.

"Twenty minutes or so. I have to change and speak to the Chief briefly before I leave, and then I'm off."

"You're gonna tell him to fill your position?" He didn't form the words into a question, but simply stated it as a fact.

"What gave it away?" she sighed.

"You just have that determined face. Plus, you keep going on about how great LA is."

"Hmm, you'd think Richard would get the message, then," she murmured and smirked at him.

He nodded and proceeded to stick his hand out.

"Then good luck, Dr. Montgomery," he whispered.

She glanced from his hand to his face with a raised eyebrow, noting he was avoiding a hug by offering a handshake.

"Thank you, Karev," she said cordially when she met his hand.

He gripped her hand and shook it, not too hard, but formidably enough.

"Don't mention it," he shrugged.

Alex had never been one for formalities and understandably enough he didn't want a reference to him being amiable.

But amidst their exchanged glances and the handshake that was lasting longer than deemed normal, Alex seemed to forget his rules of distance if all for a moment.

Driven by a lapse of reasoning, or perhaps something much more deeper that he's too afraid to account for, he pulled her into a hug.

He heard her laugh as she wrapped his arms around his back, and he grinned.

Slowly she returned the hug, all the while feeling a bit awkward at the beginning. But after 12 seconds of still holding her, she wrapped her arms around him more comfortably, and placed her hands flat against his back.

She exhaled a breath that she had been holding, and rested her chin on his shoulder.

In turn he placed his chin softly on top of her head, bending his head forward to inhale her scent for a second.

But she stiffened again and pulled her arms back slightly.

"Okay…" she whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

He smiled to himself and pulled back as well, just where his hands landed softly on her hips.

Her own hands rested on his forearms, and she sifted through his eyes, trying to catch the reason for which he was acting this way.

He only smirked, knowing that her confusion was more than justified. He recognized he wouldn't be able to put into words the 'why', so he only said, "I just wanted to say thanks--again. And not that you're completely the reason why, but I am going to talk to Ava."

She smiled sympathetically and there he saw a gleam of pride in her eyes.

"You're more than welcome…Alex."f

An subdued smile played on his lips, but he brought his hands off of her hips, and instantaneously she let him go too.

"Goodbye, Alex."

He felt the slightest of pangs when she said that, but it still felt good.

It was nice that she was saying goodbye this time. That fshe was leaving with a final word to him, making it feel a bit less abrupt.

She turned on her heel and walked away, and he knew it'd be much longer until they met again--that is, if they were to meet again.

She glanced back as she walked away and waved once again. He smirked and nodded to acknowledge the wave, until she left his sight.

His smirk dropped and he looked back down at the baby in the incubator, dreading the inevitable conversation he was about to have with Ava concerning their baby.


	3. Reverse

**Title:** Variables  
**Chapter:** Reverse (3/4)  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing:** Addison/Alex  
**Summary: **One visit. That is what Addison has told herself. Life, however, hardly runs on a plan, so when change shifts into the fourth gear a choice to look back may not seem so bad after all. AU 4x13 "Piece of My Heart"  
**Note: Enjoy**.

* * *

"Dr. Montgomery!"

Outside of the bar, as she headed for the taxi diligently waiting to take her to the hotel, she heard Dr. Stevens calling her name.

"Yes, Dr. Stevens?" she looked to the anxious-sounding resident who jogged towards her from her own car.

Izzie stopped short when she reached Addison.

"Have you by any chance seen Alex--Dr. Karev?" she bit her lip, with a clear look of concern on her face. Aside from that, Addison noticed that a file that looked to be from the hospital, sticking out of Stevens' bag.

"Not since I left the hospital."

"Crap," Izzie muttered.

"Why?" Addison couldn't help but wonder.

Izzie froze for a second, and shrugged. "It's just some personal stuff. You know," she widened her eyes, "about girls. Girlfriends. Ex-girlfriends. Married girl--"

"Rebecca?" Addison interjected.

"Yeah," she chuckled, realizing she was already letting the matter slip.

Curiosity having possessed her at that point, Addison pointed to the file in Izzie's bag, she said," Is that…"

"What?" Izzie pulled the bag closer to her, although by then it was unnecessary because Addison was much too intrigued.

"What are you doing with a patient's file outside of the hospital, Dr. Stevens?" Addison asked in a chastising tone and then she tilted her head to catch the patient's name," with Rebecca Pope's files?"

"I--she's," the young doctor exhaled deeply and gulped.

"It's something that concerns Alex and…"

"Rebecca's pregnancy?"

Izzie furrowed her brows then and parted her mouth ever so slightly.

"Did she tell you she was pregnant?" she asked in a low, conspicuous voice.

"No," she nodded her head," but Alex did."

"Crap," Izzie muttered again.

"Stevens, is she alright? Her pregnancy, the fetus, _her_?"

Addison watched as Dr. Stevens bit her lip in deep contemplation, clearly trying to make a decision about…something. Then she tucked her hair behind her ears and flexed her hands nervously.

"She's fine. Perfect, in fact," she took a moment to reach into her bag," you can actually take a look at her lab results to prove that."

She handed the file to Addison, who wearily took it.

She eyed Izzie suspiciously while opening the file, and then turned her eyes to the papers therein. Carefully scanning over the labs, she felt herself constrict as she read over the file's contents, and upon reading the confirmation of the results of Rebecca's blood tests, her stomach churned.

Her mouth opened as she tried to make sense of what she was reading and of what Alex had told her--or rather, what his Ava had told him. She nodded her head in disbelief and whispered to herself," She's not pregnant."

Izzie, however, matched her tone of disbelief with a "yeah."

She shook her head and looked back down at the file, reading the lines of her blood test over again, promptly closed the file, and tucked it underneath her arm.

She looked up at Izzie and resolutely said," you need to find her. You need to tell her that you know, and you need to convince her to either tell Alex or to allow you to tell him. Do you have any idea where she may be staying?"

"No--and I've been trying to find Alex, but he won't answer his phone--"

"That's fan-freaking-tastic," she muttered underneath her breath.

Addison placed a hand on her hip and rubbed her temple with her other hand, deliberating a way to reach Rebecca.

"Have you tried beeping him?" she asked, it being the only thing she could think of. "If you're lucky, he may bring Rebecca with him. Or at the very least, he can tell you where she is."

"You don't think he may find that suspicious? Me beeping him, him coming, only to be asked of Rebecca's whereabouts? I mean, we might as well tell him that she's not--"

"It's against hospital policy," Addison stopped her.

"Right," Izzie nodded.

"I guess I'll just have to wait until I see him tomorrow…she'll probably stop by the hospital, too and--" but she stopped herself and looked at Addison with eyes that said that she had just had an idea.

With a mischievous smile, Izzie grinned, giving Addison the sense that she may not like what she was about to hear.

"_I_ can't tell him--_I'm_ her doctor. _I_ work at Seattle Grace Hospital. _I_ know him personally. But _you_…"

Addison laughed nervously," No-no, you cannot put me in that position. Plus, I'm leaving tomorrow. Very early."

But once an idea entered Dr. Isobel Stevens, it did not leave so easily.

"Well, you did mention beeping him."

--

He laid a hand on Ava's stomach (she would always be Ava, no matter the situation--or how undesirable said situation may be) and closed his eyes for a moment.

He opened his eyes, hand steady on her stomach. He was going to be a father. A _father_. A kid was going to call _dad_.

The fear, the nerves, the disbelief pierced him through the culmination of it all--seeped right into him.

But he could not let it get to him. He couldn't run off and destroy this kid's childhood without first attempting to just stand still and be there for them.

Ava did not speak a word while he touched her stomach, but after several minutes he did feel her hand creep over his.

It snapped him out of his thoughts, causing him to glance at her agitatedly. She smiled at him eagerly, but he was unable to muster any sort of smile up for her--he only ached to flinch his hand away from hers.

Impetuously, he caught her eyes, his chest feeling constrained at the prospect of sharing his life with her. That was not in his plans, definitely not at the moment anyway.

Choosing one woman, sharing a home in the suburbs, getting mail addressed to a Mr. and a Mrs. Having kids, driving them to school five times a week, getting home by six or seven or whatever every night for a typical, family dinner.

None of that. All of that was something he did not have plans for. But he did not have a choice anymore. A kid was coming, and after coming to grips wit a portion of that reality, he realized he did not want any child raised in a broken family.

There were the variety of options he had considered--Ava could stay with her husband and let them raise his kid. Or he could raise two kids, one not his own which also meant they would not be raised by their biological father. He had trouble coming to grips with both possibilities, but the former was the one that really made him stop.

But that same option made is very guts churn at the thought of settling down--of settling down with Ava. Something about that thought did not sit right.

Before he had to delve into the possible meanings of that gut feeling, though, his beeper went off and he did not hesitate to grab it.

"It's the hippie's baby," he muttered as he grabbed his coat and headed to the door without once glancing at her.

"Alex," she began in an exasperated tone.

"Look, we'll talk later, okay?" he said, once at the door.

She solely nodded unenthusiastically, but by the time she responded, Alex had already rushed out of the room.

--

He parked haphazardly and ran from the car to the hospital's entrance when he heard his name being called out.

"Alex!" her voice rang out from a corner of the entrance.

He turned in the direction of the voice and squinted out to make the shadow in the darkness.

"Addison?" he yelled in return after her voice registered with him.

They walked towards one another to meet half-way.

"The baby--Izzie paged me."

She cut him short with the wave of the hand and said," the baby's fine."

He furrowed his brows and his voice went up a notch," What the hell, then?"

"Karev," she warned him of his tempter.

He rolled his eyes in irritation but remained silent.

"I needed to talk to you, but you seemed to have disappeared. Fortunately I ran into Stevens who did me the favor of calling you in..."

"By beeping me? What, this couldn't wait another day?"

"I won't be here."

He smirked sourly, and in a callous character remarked, "Course not."

She ignored his snide remark however and decided to get down to the point.

"This is regarding Rebecca Pope--Ava. And her…condition," she breathed in acutely as he eyed her questionably.

"What about it?"

He brought his arms over his chest and directed an inquisitive gaze at her.

"I'm going to try to say this as lightly as possible, Alex, and I'm not going to say this as a doctor nor as a co-worker. Not exactly as a friend either, but maybe more as an acquaintance--"

Impatient, he stopped her rambling with a stern voice--"Addison."

"She had some blood tests taken and I inadvertently saw her charts and therefore her results. And…" she paused, reassuring herself she was doing the right thing.

"Yeah?" Alex prodded her on.

She eyed him for a second and then reached into her purse to pull out a file. She held it in hand for a second or two then extended her arm to hand him the file.

He took it cautiously, afraid of the information within the file, but he read it nonetheless.

Quickly enough, he reacted to the news, with a murmur of "fuck."

He slammed the file shut and rubbed his face with the palm of his hand.

"Fuck!" he said louder this time, with an even more exasperated tone.

"She--" he began but stopped himself.

"Dammit!" he shook his head and fell back a step.

Addison stood back, letting him react freely, allowing the news to settle in.

After two minutes, he eyed her.

"This is a breach of doctor-patient confidentiality--who told you?"

"No one told me, Alex, I simply saw--"

He scoffed and glanced at the file's label, where he could read the doctor's name. he half-smiled, half-grimaced when he saw the name. Of course it was Dr. Stevens--Izzie would never let one of her friends go down like that, their protests be damned. And at least this way, Izzie and the hospital were not completely set up for a lawsuit (although he doubted Ava would actually take action).

"Fuck, after everything she had me go through today! And it turns out she's not even pregnant!" he exclaimed harshly.

"Alex…" she tried cloaking her voice with her best comforting tone, although even she could hear that hint of aggravation that escaped her.

"Do you know how a scare like that feels, Addison? I was scared out of my effin mind!"

She saw him shudder for a second and his eyes were cold, angry, but above all hurt and disappointed.

"I thought I was going to have to raise a kid. That'd I'd have to completely change my life around, and spend it with not just this kid, but Ava too," he spoke in a low voice, nodding his head in disbelief.

"What is it that really scared you then, Alex? Knowing you were going to have a child? Or knowing you were going to share your life with someone? Is being alone really all that it's cracked up to be?"

"That's not the point," he spit out.

"Then what it? That for a brief moment, you got your act together? That you actually thought and planned on being there for someone other than yourself? That you were prepared to be unselfish?"

His nose twitched and he bit the inside of his lip as his eyes sought the concrete floor on which his feet shifted uneasily. Slowly he raised his head up to meet Addison's eyes that were steadily boring into him, attempting to convey what this whole scare did to him--_for_ him.

"You have every right to be mad at her, but don't pretend that what happened did not affect you in one way or another."

This he already knew, but accepting it and making it a part of his history that he would use further down the road was an idea he was not too fond of. Somehow, that lie managed to infiltrate him in less than a day, and accepting it and changing his ways was something that would take more than just a day.

So he could only nod solemnly and let out a puff of air.

"This is gonna take some time," he admitted to her.

She smiled softly at him, understanding that the matter was too complicated to be resolved within ten minutes. She reached out her hand and placed her hand delicately on his forearm.

She couldn't conjure up a right way to acknowledge that yes it would take some time, but he had to take it, so she only kept up her smile and moved her rubbed her thumb under his bicep two times before letting the physical contact fall to the wayside.

"I have an early plane to catch," she began when the silence began to overwhelm their senses," so I better get going."

"You need a ride?" he offered.

"No, I've already got a taxi waiting for me," and she tilted her head to the right to point out the cab by the curb, "plus you have some things to take care of. But thanks--for the offer. That was an offer, right?"

He let out a breath of laughter and nodded. "Yeah."

"It's appreciated then. And um, good luck with everything Alex."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks…for all of this, Addison."

She shrugged. "It's the least I could do--you know, for you not being interested, making it clear that I'm not your girlfriend, and going after Rebecca Pope. If it weren't for you, I may still be in this God-forsaken hospital," she laughed.

He winced however, and said "right…sorry about that."

"I'm joking, Karev. I'd hardly give you that much credit," she winked.

He grinned at her, not entirely convinced she was joking, and a part of him did like to think he did mean something to her.

"Either way, sorry. Things I say sometimes just come out the wrong way."

She could only comprehend this excuse and apology partly, but at the moment she was taking what she could.

"That's…kind of nice to hear, but it's getting really late now."

He muttered something or another about understanding, at which she nodded and she began her walk to the cab while waving at him awkwardly.

As she approached it, though, he called out to her one last time.

"Yes?" she cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What time is your flight?" he asked.

"Eight-thirty AM. Why?"

Smirking, he responded, "Just curious."

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**Please Review**--it encourages me to update, and although not necessary because people tend to write for the pleasure of it, feedback is wonderful to receive.


	4. Adaptation

**Title:** Variables  
**Chapter:** Adaptation (4/4)  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing:** Addison/Alex  
**Summary: **One visit. That is what Addison has told herself. Life, however, hardly runs on a plan, so when change shifts into the fourth gear a choice to look back may not seem so bad after all. AU 4x13 "Piece of My Heart"  
**Note:** Honestly, I want to thank those who consistently review my works, because you're always there for my works--knowing you enjoy my work is as great a satisfaction as it is writing for something that personally means a lot. So this one's for you, & those Addex fans who still live in the land of denial. So do me one last favor--or perhaps two, please? Review &** Enjoy!**

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"Thank you for your stay, ma'm, and we hope you'll seek our services if and when you visit again," the hotel's receptionist spoke like a drone and with a plastered smile.

Addison nodded politely at her and smiled tightly, scurrying off before she had to deal with her for another second. At least as a doctor she did not have to smile 24/7.

She adjusted her large shoulder bag as she left the hotel, pulling her small luggage pack behind her. She grumbled when, once outside, she didn't spot the taxi from the night before that she had told to come by at seven am on the dot.

She clicked her tongue and cracked her neck, irritation already building up in her when she saw the cab finally pulling up by the curb. Quickly she walked up to it, and opened the back door to shove in her small luggage bag when in the corner of her eye she caught sight of who she could swear to be was Alex Karev. She twisted her head and looked around the small groups of people standing outside the hotel, when sure enough each took notice of each other.

She watched as he zoomed in on her and he grinned, waving to her.

"Karev?" she called out.

His grin slightly smirked, and he marched in long strides to reach her.

"Hey," he said.

"Wha--hey," she responded, confused at his presence.

He smirked at her befuddled gaze, and then bent his head and brought a knuckle to the passenger side window of the cab. He knocked on it, and when the driver rolled the window down, Alex said," It's alright--she's found another form of transportation."

"I have?" she cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What? Would you rather take a cab?" he shrugged nonchalantly.

She rolled her eyes but conceded," fine." She swiftly closed the door and waved the cab driver off.

Alex smiled, and in another surprise, was a gentleman enough to grab Addison's luggage and carry it off to what she presumed what his car.

"A lot of stuff for a one night stay, don't you think?" he commented.

"I'm a girl, Karev," she retorted.

They climbed into his car, and once they started on their way, Addison turned to Alex in her seat.

"Not that I'm complaining, Alex, because this car is infinitely better than that cab, but what has prompted you to do me this…favor?"

She saw him smirk, but he did not turn his eyes from the road, nor was there any body movement to otherwise acknowledge her question.

"I called the hotel earlier, and thanks to my charm and honed bedside manner," when he said this, he did glance at her for a second, knowing she'd roll her eyes," I was able to find out your check out time. I was only late because Izzie wouldn't stop asking questions."

"That's fine and all, Karev--"

"Alex."

"Alex," she sighed, hiding a little smile," but why, and does the Chief know you're not at the hospital?"

Noticeably uncomfortable, he tightened his grip around the wheel and flexed his shoulder muscles. "In exchange for some info, Izzie's taking care of what the Chief knows--Bailey may be the difficult one, though."

Addison nodded, knowing that Bailey would probably be able to extract the truth from Stevens if anything.

"And…?" she urged him when he did not continue.

"And…" he shrugged," I figured I owed you."

She smiled to herself, glad she had pushed him to admit at least that, because it probably was the best answer she would get out of him. That, and his simple explanation felt more than just enough for her.

They drove quietly for a good ten minutes or so until the question so fervent in Addison's mind was too much for her to restrain.

"So Alex. Mind telling me how it went with Ava?"

He breathed in deeply, and she could see that some of his composure was lost in the moment. As though he was being reminded of a terrible incident--which just may have been the point. Fortunately, he did not go completely mute, and was able to answer her after a moment.

"I didn't tell her that I knew. Just told her that a nurse had mentioned some lab results of hers, and if it would be okay for me to look at them…" he stopped for a second and bit his upper lip, as though he was still trying to take in the situation as a whole.

"Then she got all nervous, and I sorta used that to ask a couple of more questions, like why she was nervous, or if there was something I should know. Eventually, the truth just kind of spilled out of her."

"Wow," she stared at Alex, imagining just how difficult the whole ordeal must have been.

"Yeah," he breathed in a quiet whisper.

The car began to fill with a pregnant pause, when Alex cleared his throat to admit," I still have some stuff to figure out with her, though."

The statement implemented an inch of worry within her, making her wonder just how deeply invested he was in Rebecca Pope, and to _what_ extent he was investing in her.

"Oh?" she said in her best interested tone.

"Something--I don't know, something's up with her, and I'm not sure I just want to send her off without finding out what it is."

"Oh." Even she could hear the difference in this 'oh' from the previous one, the slight sigh of relief that went into it that caught both their ears. She chuckled when she saw him smile at her non-too-secretive expression.

Having reached a stop light, he turned his head to her and caught her gaze, her inability to conceal her reaction bringing him to think about the character Addison projected to the people around her, and sometimes even to herself. He had seen her putting on her mask of indifference (or of happiness or whatever depending on the situation) many times, always intent on proving her strength and resolution.

He had come to the conclusion some time after she left Seattle Grace Hospital for good, that one reason that _she_ had that ability to see past _his_ guise, was because she was an expert at masks and thus was at the capacity to identify when another person utilized them. But it never made much sense why she of all people should so often wear one, when in fact she was a strong and confident individual. Perhaps if she were to set it aside more often, or if she were not set up to be a punching bag by so many people, she could breathe more easily and break less often.

But now, now he could see that she was breathing a little easier. There were also hints that she was living an easier and thus happier life, meaning that LA had been doing her some good. She was yet to be completely cleansed of her past, however, which was why she was still hesitant regarding some issues. She would need more time, which was why he could partly understand her need to remain in LA--at least between the time of her being that fragile, vilified ex-She Sheppard and her being…well, herself without external perceptions affecting her.

For the remainder of the ride, the radio played between them, with only small talk here and there. LA weather, strange cases, weird patients, and the antics of their co-workers filled the pair's conversations until they reached the airport.

After shutting off the ignition, Addison gingerly opened her door. She turned her head to Alex, with a smile that said she had no idea what to say.

He smirked at her and in turn opened his own door, and stepped out of the car. Addison followed suit, and they met at the hood of the car after she took out her luggage pack.

"So…" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"We're here," he looked to the small airport in front of them.

"I hadn't noticed, Alex."

She leaned against the car, eyes flitting up to the plane taking off overhead. But instead of feeling eager at knowing that in a little bit more than an hour, she'd be sitting in a plane heading to sunnier days, anxiety began building up in her and she felt her throat close up.

She had felt something similar to this the very same day she left to Los Angeles to permanently take up the job at the private practice. Just as that day, though, she put it in her mind to focus on the arrival rather than the departure. However, it did not change the fact that she felt a part of her constrain, thus making the process to think ahead marginally difficult.

She inhaled deeply and just as she prepared to exhale, Alex's fingers brushed against her hand.

"Addison?"

She shifted her eyes to him, and when she saw that his body was turned to hers, she turned to match his position.

"Alex?" and she smirked, thinking he would provide some playful quip before she left.

But he didn't appear to be in a playful behavior (well, not completely), as his fingers remained on her hand.

His brown eyes stayed on her blue-green ones, making the hair on her arms stand on end, a chill enveloping her skin. She searched his eyes, wondering what he was thinking or what he _planned _on doing_._

She got her answer when he began leaning towards her, and for a millisecond she contemplated turning her cheek to him.

She had made up her mind about him that night after the on-call room mess, had decided he wasn't worth it during that wedding that wasn't.

She had accepted and made amends with the Addison and Alex romance that was obliterated, by the time she agreed to return to Seattle Grace Hospital for the one case.

Or so she had convinced herself evidently, because she couldn't force herself to turn her head for his lips to meet her cheek. She let his mouth finds hers.

And when she let that happen, she also opened the gate to her involuntary response of sighing against his lips. Her eyes closing, mouth parting as his tongue sought her mouth out.

For what felt a too brief period of time, she allowed herself to relish in the taste of him.

Until slowly, their mouths parted and eyes opened, exposing her look of surprise. Finally, she exhaled.

She laughed nervously. "Again, not that I'm complaining--"

He cut her off with another kiss--albeit a quicker and hungrier one, that unfortunately lasted much briefer.

Still inches from her face, he said in a low voice," The first one was for me being an idiot."

"The second," he brushed away some of her hair strands, his thumb momentarily running over forehead," so you'd consider visiting again. And the third…"

"Third?" she grinned.

He angled his mouth in a fixture to meet hers, but rather moved in beside her ear.

"The third one's for when you come back," he whispered, and she could feel him smirking and the hint of victory in that very smirk, as though he had won a battle without even having to do much.

Addison solely swallowed the lump in her throat and bit her lip. She drew her head back to find Alex smirking at her, just as she had predicted.

"You don't know that I'm coming back, Alex," she contracted in his challenge.

He kept his face in close proximity to hers for a second, until finally drawing it away. She bit back a pout, then composed herself by standing upright and sweeping her hair over to her left shoulder.

"Don't you have to check in an hour before the flight?" he inquired, not acknowledging her rebuttal.

"Right, the flight!" she exclaimed much too enthusiastically.

Hastily, she grabbed her luggage case and holstered her bag.

"You don't need someone to accompany you inside?"

"Oh, no, it'll be hectic in there and you need to get to the hospital…but thanks anyway."

And they both had a small chuckle at that, recognizing how many thank yous had been exchanged between them in the last day and quarter.

"Later, Alex--I mean," she flinched at her own choice of words," goodbye."

Awkwardly, she gave him a hug even shorter than their initial one when she had arrived, even keeping him at a greater distance. Something he couldn't fail to notice, and he had to hold back a chuckle at the irony.

"Later, Addison," he whispered when she was out of earshot.

As she walked away, and as she turned to look at him few times before finally walking through the airport entrance, he smiled. He knew she was heading somewhere she felt she needed to be--and that small fraction of him that he had always been so good at tucking away, left itself open to believing that perhaps someday, when she was wholly Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery, and when he accepted being more than just a Dr. Alex Karev, she could very well come looking to make that assurance of his a three for three.


End file.
